Whether you have been planning your wedding ever since you danced around the house in your mom’s white pumps and a pillow case veil or getting married was the last of your priorities until you happened to meet Mr. Right, you gotta admit, getting engaged is pretty exciting. One thing’s for sure though, as soon as you say “YES”, you are buckling your seat belt and getting on the Wedding Planning roller coaster, so hold on tight and remember to breathe.
One of my favorite things about being a ketubah artist, is getting to know so many wonderful couples. And I have to tell you, there is one thing almost all of them have in common — their engagement period seems to take them from floating above the world in love Chagall-style, to sounding like Al and Peggy Bundy (that’s a Married with Children reference for those of you who didn’t grow up in the 90’s). And it’s no wonder! In just a few short months, you have to deal with intensified versions of all the elements of married life — budget, each other’s families, religion, personal taste, maybe even building your first home together (and decorating it, eek!). So, if you don’t want to look like a Munch painting on your wedding day, here’s my guide for surviving the engagement period:
1. Remember that this too shall pass! Engagement is way harder than marriage. Once you say your “I do’s,” you can look forward to daily stress free cuddle time with your hubby, but in the meantime, add a glass of wine to your evening routine.
2. The marriage is way more important than the wedding. It’s easy to get hyper focused on details, but in the future you won’t remember if the flowers were the exact right color or if the band played every single song on your wish list, but you will remember marrying the love of your life, so don’t stress the small stuff.
3. Compromise. This is an important day for both of you — so each of you should get your way for at least some of the time. So insist on the dress of your dreams, but if he wants to wear cowboy boots under his tux, so be it.
4. Remember this is your wedding, not your parents’ and not his parents’ either. You and your fiancé need to have a serious talk about how much input your families are going to have on your decisions and stick to them. This is an issue that will stick around (wait till there are grandkids involved!), so set your boundaries early and firmly.
5. Enjoy the ride! You (hopefully) only do this once, so have fun with it! It’s not all about the wedding day, it’s about the journey to it. Kiss your fiancé every chance you get, never go to bed angry, and remember to laugh a lot and often. Believe it or not, one day you will look back at this moment and miss it.